Stabbing the Veil
by RainbowEve
Summary: Craig's sister is dead and he's having a difficult time coping. Slowly resulting in forming a mental illness. Those around him not sure how to react to the changes.
1. Chapter 1

_"If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; if you talk to the dead, you are a schizophrenic"_

_-Thomas Szasz._

A funeral was the last place I wanted to be. Surrounded by others mourning over the same person I was. Only in a different perspective. The girl who crossed-over I knew on a personal level. Far more personal than any other person in here. Including her parents. She shared everything with me, whether she wanted to or not. And I bounced back with advice helping her whenever she needed.

I knew so many secrets about her, I probably couldn't name them all because they're overlapping what matters the most. The fact that she was dead. That my sister, Ruby Tucker, was lying in an open coffin before everyone that attended her service. Her body stuck at the age of eighteen for who even knows how long. Her hair not in her usual pigtails she always wore, and she's wearing an outfit our Mother picked out, something I know she'd never wear.

I didn't want to be here from the moment I heard she was dead. The first thought to process into my mind rather than 'How the hell did she die?' was more like 'I'm not attending her funeral.' It was pretty selfish, I'm aware, but I was more worried about how I wasn't going to be seeing Ruby the same way she had died. That the morticians would pretty her up and make her presentable. Covering the fact that she committed an act of sin. Hiding the emotions last plastered on her face in the moment the event happened. The lost and devastated twinkle glazed over hazel orbs. I feel like the most important part of this funeral has been ruined by that one move.

I heard the priest begin to recite a prayer and I immediately knew the service was almost over. That this would be the last time I 'saw' Ruby because I promised myself 'If I'm going to the funeral, I'm not going to her burial. I'm not suffering any more than I already am.' Of course, my parents had nothing nice to say about this. I can even recall how the conversation went:

My Mother: "You can't just not attend your sister's burial, Craig. She would want you to be there."

Me: "She wouldn't want me there. She wouldn't want me to deal with her death any longer. Knowing I'd just be bitching the entire time. I know how her brain works, Laura. Way better than anyone else ."

My Father: "How her brain worked, it ain't functioning no longer.

I remember grinding my teeth at my Father's horrible grammar and trying really hard not to correct him. I always got punched whenever I did.

My Mother continued with: You're attending and that's final.

And I ended the conversation with 'I'm not going'. Then left the scene.

So when this classical and really dramatic music began playing in the church, I took this as my queue to leave. Rising from my bench in the back of the church; instead of seated with the rest of my family in the first row.

I managed to slip out without anyone noticing me. Or at least to my knowledge. And as soon as I was welcomed by the outdoors breeze, I knew I was safe. Automatically I saw a rusty old pick-up truck in my view. Knowing it belonged to the one person I was expecting to pick me up, I got in without question.

In the driver's seat sat a male around my age, a mess of greasy and dirty blonde hair piled on top of his head. He greeted me with a smile that was slightly lopsided but gave off the same message. I didn't say a word. Just nodded; letting him know it was okay to leave and take us back to his apartment.

The truck began to move forward as he said, "Karen slept over last night, so she'll still be there. And I'm pretty sure Kyle is going to attend the burial. At least that's what he said."

Again I was silent. I guess you could say I was still in the depression stage of Ruby's death and I was never going to surpass it.

We had a strange relationship and I don't think I could explain it without confusing myself. I loved Ruby and I know she loved me back, we never saying the words straight out to each other but expressing it in ways of knowing. That I could help her with a personal problem she didn't want to tell anyone else, and she'd know I truly cared. That I wasn't just going along with it to get it over with.

We reached the apartment, (Which I could have easily walked to, but didn't want to take the chances of getting caught as the funeral was letting out.) and we both exited the truck, going inside.

We were greeted with a girl, the same age as Ruby, sitting on the couch exclaiming, "Kenny! You're back...with Craig."

I waved to Karen. She was a cute girl. Her eyes lighting up her dull face. Which contained a basic caucasian skin tone and hair waving out the colour of sand. Her trademark red scarf, which she was never seen without, is wrapped around her neck. I liked Karen for the most part. Mainly because she was a good friend of Ruby's and I couldn't find it within myself not to like her.

Upon entering, I immediately made my way to Kenny's room which was located in the back of the two bedroom apartment. Just off to the side of the living-room within a small hallway. I could feel Kenny's presence following behind. As soon as I walked into the room, the smell of marijuana hit my nostrils at full blast. The bud overpowering anything else that could have been present. Not much was in the room. A bed with what looked to be fresh linen, a nightstand piled with small bags of marijuana and pipes, a mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the doorway and a semi small flat screen television was on the wall across from that. I noticed crumpled papers scattered about the floor along with trash and dirty piles of clothes. The carpeted floor itself almost being a mystery if I hadn't been here so many times.

Avoiding the items on the ground, I greeted Kenny's bed with my body falling on top of it. I lied flat on my back. Staring at the ceiling which was covered in all kinds of naked girls. Not a single whitespace showing. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at them, although it's nothing I haven't seen before. And as soon as my lids closed, I felt the bed move and a body press against my own.

"What do you want, Kenny?" My voice came out cracked.

"To make you feel better." While saying this, he rubbed my cheek with his thumb humming slightly.

"And just what did you have in mind?"

My eyelids fluttered open as he moved his mouth closer to my ear. Whispering, "Whatever you want."

"What I want is for Ruby to be alive again, but that definitely isn't an option."

He sighed, "I know…" Lips gently touched my own. Barely brushing against them. "Can I distract you for a bit?"

"You're just looking for sex aren't you?" I couldn't help but smile as I asked. Shining my braces at him. I know it was a weakness of his, when I actually smiled. I didn't do it much. Especially in the state I'm in now.

He laughed and I automatically knew the answer was yes. Leaning forward a tad, I had my lips meet his once more. Pushing better pressure than the last. In a slow motion, our lips were moving in synch. My brain cells slowing down. My mind going blank. I tried to focus my attention on the movement of Kenny's mouth. Sucking lightly on his bottom lip. His jaw dropped some, his wet muscle licking my top lip but also running along the metal in my mouth. I remember the first time he cut his tongue on my braces. Almost ruined the mood.

I found us doing this a lot; Kenny and I. We had a relationship I couldn't quite understand. Not to the standards of Ruby and I. This one...was much more complicated.

It was almost like a friend's with benefits type deal. A total non-platonic bond. Understanding each other in a way no one could. And sharing a sexual relation that we could go to when needed. Which, in this situation was understandable.

The first time something like this happened took me by surprise. But I guess it really shouldn't have. Seeing Kenny as someone who was always looking for sex. It was getting around the time that it was my turn. We didn't seal the deal entirely. No, that wouldn't be for a couple months. Just small foreplay. Something I never found myself wanting to do, but now, looked at it in a brand new view.

My breath hitched as Kenny's hand traveled along my face to the nape of my neck. Just reaching the point where the stands of my hair end. I knew what he was going for. A total turn-on on my part. His digits curled around my hair and in a slow and agonizing motion he pulled. A growl rose in my throat And I kissed him harder. A small trail of saliva beginning to slide down the corner of my mouth. My head tilted back with his hand. Burrowing further into the bed sheets.

Kenny breathed into my mouth and I opened my jaw wider. The bottom row of my braces quickly catching on his bottom lip. I heard him yelp slightly. Pulling back to look me in the eyes. The shock of baby blue hues hit me hard. Sending a ripple of chills down my spine. But I couldn't find myself to look away. Staring right back into them.

I noticed a small trickle of blood start to form. Barely enough to make a mess. I uttered a 'sorry' and pecked him on the lips softly.

"I'll never get used to that.." Kenny muttered. "When are you supposed to be getting those off anyways?"

Lifting the upper half of my body to where I sat on my elbows, I sighed. "Not for another year."

He mumbled the next statement to escape his mouth. Obviously not wanting to be heard. But I asked him to repeat himself anyway.

"You're staying away from my dick for the time being. Until those evil creations come off."

"You act like I li-"

Kenny interrupted before I could finish, "I don't even see an improvement. Those things are bullshitting your parents. Just trying to take their money."

"Shut the hell up, and fuck me."

That made him smile, "Oh, you wanna go straight to the fucking, eh?"

Rolling my eyes, I lied back down and wrapped my arms around Kenny's neck. Pulling him into my chest. The warmth of his body radiating evenly. I sighed, my mouth setting against his golden locks. Which, at the moment, weren't looking too clean. Shiny signs of grease reflecting off the light that shone throughout the room.

"I miss Ruby." I whispered.

Murmuring into my chest, Kenny replied with, "Explain to me how she died again."

What I wanted to say was 'If you went to the service, you'd know.' But instead I said, "Suicide."

"I know that. But like the details…"

The topic wasn't hard for me to get into. Not like most people who would be offended if Kenny asked such a thing or break down in tears. I had no problem with it. It was like any other topic I would have about Ruby. On the same level of what she did to get bitched at my parents and start a whole argument, or of the latest rumours her and Karen conducted together. Of course her death was something that didn't settle with me (What with her never being in my sight nor person.) but that didn't mean I wouldn't give up the chance to explain her death.

I remember the first time the police came to us with the news. I memorised every word that was recited. Like it was a prayer I needed to remember for church that was said every Sunday. I listened to the details closely. Unlike my Mother who broke down crying the second the police approached her. And my Father who stroked her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear reassuring that everything was going to be all right. No, I listened and I memorised. And I now recite. And I do it in pride. Pride in that I know these things about my sister. And that I can share them with others. Showing how much I truly care for her.

"It was a simple lynching." I stated. "She hadn't been to class in a few days and one of the friends she was close to went to check on her. Opening the door to witness Ruby's lifeless body hanging from a rope hung on the ceiling. Her hazel orbs wide open and showing discomfort and her body no longer in motion. A smell of decaying flesh spread throughout the room. Surprised no one in the dorms began to notice."

"Did you know?" Kenny wiggled a tad in my grip so I loosened my arms from around him and watched as he sat up to straddle my hips. Looking down at me.

This position always made me uncomfortable unless I was the one on top. And I could feel a small rise in blush hit my cheeks.

"Did I know what?"

"She was suffering."

I shook my head softly. Then brought my hands to cup Kenny's. Bringing them to the waistline of my jeans. A small smile spread across my face. Hiding my 'evil creations' as Kenny now liked to call them.

When I first got my braces at the the beginning of the year, Kenny immediately fell in love with them. The moment I opened my mouth, still in slight pain, he jumped me. Trying his hardest to kiss me. Took forever to pull the bastard off my body, but he eventually came through. Giving the strangest seduction glance. A look I can't get out of my mind to this day.

He was smiling right back at me when I watched Kenny's hands begin to mess with the button on my jeans. Slowing undoing it and moving onto the zipper. The suspense of how slow he was going killed me, and I closed my eyes leaning into the bed a bit. Pushing my hips upward in an unsettling way.

"Ruby told me everything and I have a strong feeling that if she was helpless or suffering in anyway possible she would come to me."

"But how can you be so sure?" My zipper was now undone and I was lifting my hips a bit so Kenny could pull them down to where they hugged my thighs.

"Because it's happened before. Ruby was having a hard time starting high school and she came to me with some ideas that had been haunting her during the time. She could trust me, Kenny. And I have no doubt within my mind that if she was going through the same thing beginning her college career then she would tell me. It isn't like her, so it must have been something else." Pause. "I don't tell too many people this, Ken. Actually you may be the first person I'm saying this to… But I have a strange feeling Ruby didn't commit suicide."

"Then you're thinking it may have been murder?"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking."


	2. Chapter 2

"Who would kill your sister though?"

"Hell, if I know. You know Ruby wasn't a very sociable person."

"Like you?"

"Fuck off."

Kenny's hands were now on the top of my boxers that I was wearing. One placed on the waistline and the other running softly along the bulge that was hidden beneath. My breath hitched, the touch arousing me deeply. Rolling my head over to the side as my mouth now let out a long and tired sigh.

I whimpered "How is Karen being so calm about all this?"

"She's not. She's just isn't showing her true emotions. Honestly, she's having a hard time dealing with Ruby's death. You know how close they were."

Whispering the word 'yeah', I thought to how close Ruby and Karen really were. Since the small age of when they began to attend grade school. Apparently, Ruby was the one who protected Karen from anyone who tried to make fun of her for being so poor. And it just kinda blossomed from then. I remember those days I would come after school and somehow both girls would beat me to the living room and take over the television so I couldn't watch Red Racer. They made rumours about anyone and everyone and in all honestly, didn't give a shit who they were offending. It was a hobby of theirs and that's all that mattered.

I imagine Karen being a totally different person now that my sister is gone. Probably a good thing they're no longer in high school and Karen never had the money to attend college. In the short few days Ruby has passed I've noticed Karen being quieter. And definitely keeping to herself.

Kenny interrupted my thoughts with whispering, "What are you thinking about?"

"How good this feels." I lied.

His hand moved into my boxers during the process of my thinking and Kenny was now stroking my length slowly.

"Really? Because I'm not seeing any kind of reaction. And I know exactly how Craig Tucker reacts to my touch."

"I was thinking about our siblings." I whispered. No use lying again.

Kenny's hand left the warmness in my boxers. Quickly rolling off my body all together and flopping down beside me. Eyes looking towards the covered ceiling.

I could hear him mumbling next to my ear, "Its useless. You're too much in a morbid state, Craig."

I almost felt the need to apologise but stopped myself because I knew it wouldn't help the situation. Instead I blatantly closed my eyes. Leaning my head over on Kenny's shoulder to rest upon. Breathing in the scent of him, which honestly was something I couldn't name. A different kind of scent that was almost non-existent.

Hearing him take a deep breath in was a sign that I shouldn't speak, so I calmly forced myself to think of a topic other than what my mind seemed to wonder to lately. And I found myself falling asleep.

…

By the time I awoke, the room had darkened. With Kenny no where in sight. Yawning softly, I then removed myself from his bed. The warm welcoming sensation quickly leaving my body. As I stumbled across the room, hitting the numerous items scattered on his floor that were unnecessary, voices were heard from the other side of the walls. Mainly Kenny and his sister Karen, and then the occasional sound of his roommate.

Kenny's choice of a roommate struck me as odd. Of course, they had always been friends since beginning preschool but I always saw him living with someone else. Precisely someone not as messy as Kenny.

Kyle Broflovski was someone that was a tad hard to explain. I expected him to eventually live with Stan, whom he was known to have a relationship with. But from what I've heard from Kenny, Stan's unable to deal with Kyle's OCD. Which was a cleanliness type ordeal. That everything had to be in a precise order. Colour coordinated, same sizes with one another, and if you didn't return a certain item to its originally place all hell broke loose.

Approaching the living room, I came to witness Karen sitting in Kenny's lap, her legs thrown across the edge of the armrest and her head resting closely to his chest. Kyle sat crossed legged on the ground, looking up to the siblings. His back towards me so I could only see the mess of auburn hair piled atop his head.

I cleared my throat as stepping towards the three. Walking around Kyle and sitting next to Kenny.

Kyle was the first to speak, "Craig! You're aware your parents aren't pleased with you right, dude?" Emerald eyes hidden behind a pair of prescription glasses stared right at me. It looked as though he was wearing the same clothes he wore to the funeral. A simple black button-up, sleeves rolled to the elbows, a mint green tie wrapped his neck, and black dress pants covered his legs.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Ruby's in the ground now?"

"Yeah. The whole ceremony was pretty beautif-"

"Ruby wanted to be cremated." I interrupted.

Karen lifted her head from her brother's chest, objecting. "That's a lie, Craig. I remember Ruby telling me she thought cremation was a gay idea."

"And you know so much about Ruby, right?"

"More than you."

"Bullshit." I spat.

Karen shifted to where she was now right next to me. Staring harshly into my eyes. Hatred was radiating off her as she spoke again. "You're fucking delusional, Craig. I've heard what your parents tell Ruby about you and I know what's going on. You think you know your sister better than anyone else but it's all in your head."

Kenny pushed his sister off the couch. Her body landing harshly on the ground and she glared even angrier at me as I burst out laughing.

"What the hell, Kenny?"

"You're being a bitch. Everyone is mourning over Ruby, Karen. You're not the only one this is effecting."

Standing up she mumbled, "Whatever." Then exited the room. I watched as she rounded the corner and a door being slammed was heard. She obviously locking herself in Kenny's room.

I decided to change the subject, lying down on the couch. With my head falling in Kenny's lap and my gaze falling on Kyle.

"Did they specifically come to you about my absence?"

A questioning look spread about his face, so I started again, "My parents..?"

"Oh! Yeah, I guess they knew you would come here since Clyde was also at the burial…"

"He didn't even like Ruby." I stated.

"I'm pretty sure everyone at the _service _didn't like her."

"Like you, Kyle?"

"I hardly knew her."

"Then why'd you attend?"

I could tell the question puzzled him by the expression he made. But it was a reasonable thing to ask. Why would someone who didn't know my sister nor care for her, attend the service of her death and yet, Karen and even myself refuse to do so? It's a mental process that you have to think deeply about. It's easy for one to attend a funeral when you weren't close to the person. It's easy for you to pay your respects because you didn't know them on a personal level. You can say to someone 'I'm sorry for your loss' with ease and not entirely put any emotions into it. But when brought to going to the funeral for someone you're close to, it then becomes a harder task to achieve. Because you secretly don't want to go to the place where the dead body is. A constant reminder that this person is no longer living. It's a process everyone goes through and you have to break the surface of thinking ability to understand it. That one doesn't want to attend simply because they do not care, no, it's because they don't want to be reminded. And they can't stand the thought of being in the same room.

Kyle continues to stumble across the question, thinking harder than what is needed and I brush it off with a wave of my hand. The answer isn't important. I don't even know why I asked.

"...Do you have any memories of her?"

It's a question that stands as a cover up. For ignoring the awkward silence that happened. And I find it childish. Do I have memories of Ruby? Of course I do. Why wouldn't I have memories of the sister I lived with for eighteen years of my life?

There was a time I didn't like Ruby. In fact I despised her. Because she was another child Laura and Thomas produced and they seemed to like her more than they did me. I despised her because she was the perfect love-child of our parents; resembling both. While I didn't look like either of them. I don't remember the turning point when I stopped feeling this way. But afterwards we became closer and I began to ignore the fact that my parents liked her more than myself.

There is one event I remember clearer than any other. It happening just a few years ago. Ruby being sixteen. We were going to get ice cream after school because Laura nor Thomas were home at the time and couldn't tell us we could do otherwise. We were walking on the sidewalk, so close that are hands brushed by a few times. And we weren't saying a word to each other. The silence and the wind that blew occasionally becoming the only words we needed. By the time we reached the ice cream parlor, we found the shop to be closed; all of the lights off and not a car in the parking lot. Which I found to be disappointing because we just took the thirty minutes to walk to the damned place and now we weren't being rewarded for it.

Ruby suggested we go to the grocery store and purchase a tub of some generic flavour so we wouldn't have wasted our time but I shot the idea down. It wasn't the same. Not by a landslide. So we walked back. This time Ruby bitching. Mumbling under her breath about how stupid I was.

I don't know why this important memory was so vivid in my mind and why it stuck out to me but I took it as a sign that I was supposed to remember this for a reason and not question it.

Kyle was still looking at me when I came back to my senses and the way his eyes were boring into my skull nerved me. Avoiding the tension I switched positions to where I was now lying on my other side face in Kenny's crotch.

"Are you trying to say something, Craig?"

"I wouldn't subject Kyle to that." I mumbled.

Kyle laughed softly, "How kind Craig."

"I try."

I wanted to go back to sleep. It seemed like the only reasonable thing to do nowadays. Because I didn't see the point in going out knowing Ruby could no longer do the same.

"Shouldn't you be getting home soon?" The sound of the blonde's voice vibrated in my ear. Turning onto my back, I looked up at him.

Whispering I said, "I don't want to..."

In which he replied with, "Have you seen your parents at all today?"

I nodded. "At the service, yeah."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Have you exchanged words? Had a simple family conversation? Mourned together? Anything?"

"...No…"

"Christ Craig. You can't do that. You should be there for them. She was their child."

"Laura and Thomas have each other for that. I honestly don't give a damned."

"Well, you can't stay here. I won't allow it."

Sitting up abruptly, I glared straight into the blue orbs owned by the blonde. "Seriously?"

"Yes."

That wasn't going to happen. I knew Kenny and I knew he wouldn't just throw me out, forcing me to go to a place I didn't want to. I just had to show him how much I really wanted to stay…

I placed my hand gently on his neck pulling him slightly closer to me so I could whisper in his ear. "Come on, Kenny." And I stuck my tongue out a bit, licking the lobe of his ear sweetly. A hitch of his breath could be heard. Along with his head leaning in towards me.

"Cra-"

"Don't make me go." I interrupted. "Just… Let me stay for this night. I'll call Laura and let her know."

This time I began to leave small kisses down his neck. Reaching the collar of his shirt, which I moved slightly out of the way and kissed his collarbone.

"A-Alright. But I want you to call her now."

Automatically, I stopped. Pulling away and flashing my smile full of metal at him. I held my hand out in front of him. "Phone?"

…

"You know, I don't think it'd kill you to stay home Craig. You don't even have any medication with you, now do you?"

Laura was on the other line and the fact that she was upset was very clear. I was sitting in Kyle's bedroom since it was cleaner than Kenny's, for one, and it was also the furthest away from the living room (So in case Kenny tried to listen in from where he was, he couldn't). I had the phone call on speaker, the device sitting on one of the many organised book shelves Kyle owned while I shuffled through his closet. Judging the contents inside. (Mainly button-up shirts with the occasional graphic tees, a few zip up hoodies and jeans only in the colour black.) I ripped a hoodie off a hanger, slipping it on and walked over to the bookshelf the phone lied on.

"I don't need it."

"Bullshit Craig! You know what happens when you go only one day without your medication!" She was starting to rise her voice. The nasally tone beginning to become more prominent. "You're a wreck without it."

Picking the phone up, I brought the receiver close to my mouth. "I don't need you telling me what I need to do, _Laura. _I'm just letting you know where I am, so you don't worry. Even though I doubt you'd do so."

Rustling was heard on the other end. Then a voice deeper than my Mother's sounded. "Where the hell are you, boy?"

I distinguished it as my Father. And I knew this conversation was going to begin to go downhill. Taking it off speakerphone, I held the phone close to my ear speaking into it. "I'm at a friend's place all right? I'll see you sometime tomorrow… Maybe."

And with that I hung up, just as Thomas was heard sucking in air to begin yelling.

Sighing, I sat down on Kyle's bed. Staring at a plain wall across from me. I found it strange Kyles hardly had anything on his bedroom walls. Just a few photos of Stan and him hanging over the headboard of his bed.

One statement from my Mother rang in my head. Repeating itself over and over: '_You know what happens when you go only one day without your medication.' _I didn't quite understand the meaning behind it. There's only been a few instances where I haven't taken my Clozapine and I couldn't remember anything from those times. But it can't be too bad. I should be able to handle one night.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't want to move from where I was, but I knew pretty soon Kyle would come barging in and demand I get out of his room. He's probably thinking right now about how I could be messing up the order of his room, and I can't imagine what his mental state is. But I didn't move. Basically because I didn't feel like it. So I sat on his bed staring at the boring walls surrounding me. I brought the collar of his hoodie up to my nose and breathed in harshly. The smell of fabric softener came wafting, something gay like lavender and lilacs.

I wonder if Kyle went over to Stan's to do his laundry. Since Stan lived in an apartment to his self in Denver. I imagine Kyle going over there on his monthly visits and washing Stan's clothes which have begun to pile up in some corner in the bedroom. That sounds a bit extreme, thinking about it. Who has that many clothes to where they can go a month without washing them?

I start thinking about other shit they do when with each other, (things I wish my mind hadn't wondered to) when a knock is sounded at the door. Jumping at the sudden sound, I slip off the bed to where I'm now lying on the ground. My head slightly under the bed frame looking at the door from this angle, which is now beginning to open. A pair of feet showing from the gap.

"Craig?" It's Kenny. I can hear the confusion in his voice.

"I don't remember seeing him leave your room, Kyle do you?" He yells behind him.

I can hear Kyle yell back from what seems to be the living room (stating they probably haven't moved from when I left) something that sounds like a muffled 'No'. And I watch as Kenny's figure begins to move a few more feet into his roommate's space.

He mumbles, "What the hell." And I'm now squeezing further under Kyle's bed. Which isn't an easy task to do. I'm trying to hide from Kenny and the reasoning I'm unaware of. All I know is by the time, I'm fully scrunched under the bed, Kenny is beside me on his hands and knees looking unamused.

"Wanna explain?"

I try to smile back at him widely showing my braces, which in return receives a mimicking of the act. "No, not really."

"Then get out. I take it you're staying..?"

"I was going to stay no matter what I was told."

"All right."

I go to crawl out from under the bed frame, (Not an easy task to achieve.) and when I'm out and standing on my feet again, I'm only a few inches away from the blonde. Eye level to his baby blues and man, was he staring deeply into my own grey eyes. (Which on the topic, I didn't fully understand how I ended up with such a dull shade resembling pencil lead. I always blamed God when I was younger, but now I just blame the fucked up genetics granted by my parents.)

What I wanted to do was attack Kenny's mouth while it was gaping open, feeling small amounts of his breath on my own. And I was so close to doing so. Breathing in his scent and taking in a deep sigh. The tension was killing me. My eyes were wandering downwards staring harshly at those thin lips I wanted to feel upon my own.

And then, the door flew open and the little bitch known as Karen McCormick was standing in the archway. One hand on the doorknob with the other moving to rest on her hip.

"Kyle said you'd be in here. He wants you out of his room because he has this feeling you two are going to fuck on his bed or something. I'm here, because he was too much of a pussy to come tell you guys himself."

She had this annoyed tone to her voice. Like she was still upset with me even though I didn't do anything to the kid. Karen was like that and I remember from a time when she was over with at my house chilling with Ruby in the kitchen.

They were talking prior to me entering the room. Soft whispers with the occasional rougher tone. I thought they were fighting (about something trivial and unimportant like most of their arguments were) but I later found out they were talking about me. The topic I'm still unaware of but when I entered the kitchen Karen glared at me. Kinda like how she was now. This hasty shine in her eyes as she glowered my way. I went along minding my own business. getting food for myself. Karen continued to stare at me. Which was making me uncomfortable, until Ruby nudged her in the side with her elbow. Telling the brunette to leave me alone and follow her to her room.

I shifted my weight, my eyes trying to find anywhere to land that wasn't on Kenny or his younger sibling. I was growing uncomfortable, the eyes of both Karen and Kenny on me. What I wanted to do was break down crying and the fact that I wanted to do so was terrifying. The fact of the matter was that Craig Tucker doesn't shed tears. Crying was a sign of weakness. It shows you can't handle the situation you're in. You've pretty much broken under pressure and now an emotional mess. I was shaking slightly.

"Craig?"

His hands were set on my shoulders. I felt blue eyes boring into my skull, attempting to get my attention. I had to cave in, I couldn't take the constant feeling sensation I was getting. Once my eyes met his, I was given a reflection. I didn't like what I saw. I was becoming more uncomfortable than before when Karen was glaring at me. And from what I felt, she was still doing so.

I felt this need to yell at her, tell her to leave me alone. I didn't need her shit. She wasn't the only one that was affected by Ruby's death. Shrugging his hands off my shoulders, I quickly turned around and made my way to exit the room.

I was determined to go to Kenny's mess of a room, and lie on his bed. Let my mind go blank. But first I had to get though Karen. Both hands were on her hips, tapping her foot lightly. She was acting annoyed. Don't know why. But it was pissing me off the more I saw it. So I felt this was the right time to speak to her.

I walked right up to her. Looked down, right into those eyes that were so similar to her brother's. And I swear, the only thing I saw were those blue orbs. Angry emotions still showing within them.

"I don't know what you're fucking problem is. But I'm tired of it. First you attack me and try to tell me shit about my own sister when you didn't know her like I did. And I know you like to pull bullshit like this. Try to act like you know everything but in reality you don't. I don't like you. I never have. I have no idea why Ruby chose to become friends with you._She made you into the fucking bitch you are now._ Because you're a sorry excuse of a human being. Attempting to become something you blatantly aren't. You're pathetic and I'm done with your shit."

My breathing turned heavy. And my vision was blurring. Karen wasn't there anymore and I was standing by myself next to the open door of Kyle's room. The door that was across the hall, the one belonging to the Kenny's room was opening slowly. What flipped me out the most when I saw this happening was the fact that Karen was emerging from her brother's room. Hair looking like she just rolled around in bed a few times.

"What was that Craig?"

I looked back at Kenny then again across the hall at the younger McCormick. How..? How was it possible that just a few seconds ago I was yelling in her face and yet, I witnessed her just coming out of the bedroom?

"Who were you yelling at?" The question came from Kenny aloud. But I was asking myself the same thing mentally.

Bringing the palms of my hands to my eyes and rubbing them harshly I said, "I don't know."

"You were obviously yelling at someone though. The rage was too prominent for it to be about no one."

Kyle appeared next to Karen in the hallway. This felt like an intervention.

This was reminding me a time I experienced just a few months ago The contents still a little blurry but I could recreate just enough of the main points to remember. And it wasn't comforting.

My parents never really cared where Ruby and I ate for dinner except on Sundays. It was one of Laura's only rules that we all gathered to sit at the rarely used dinner table. She felt Sunday, being the day of Jesus and all that bullshit, gave the perfect excuse of the family eating dinner together. Even as a kid before Ruby came around, I hated the idea. But unless I wanted to be bitched at by Thomas (And with his anger that was something no one really wanted) I usually went along with it.

It was one of those Sunday nights. The meal we were eating isn't important now, but I remember it being one of Ruby's favourite dishes Laura produced. And yet my sister wasn't coming out of her room. As one can imagine, my Father wasn't too happy about the ordeal and began yelling for her to come down. Using threats he thought would be effective enough to force her out of her room. Only, none work.

Started getting to the point where the food was growing cold, and I was beginning to get annoyed. Being around my parents usually did that to me. And I decided to fetch Ruby myself. Thinking 'If she wouldn't come down for Thomas then she may do so for me.' Not bothering to excuse myself from the table, I ventured upstairs. Quickly walking up the staircase, the doorway to Ruby rooms becoming visible.

Her room was the first one anyone saw when they came to the second floor. Exactly parallel to the steps. The door was wide open leaving anyone to glance inside the room. I always found it odd how clean the contents were. Nothing on the walls, everything in place. It was almost like Kyle's room except my sister's looked like a replica of one of those goth kids I used to go to high school with. Meaning: everything was black.

Ruby wasn't goth herself in any way, sure she wore all black and her room was the same exact way, but her attitude was nothing like the whiny kids I used to know. Complaining about everything and trying their hardest to rebel against what they thought was conformity. No, my sister wasn't anything like that.

As I stood at the top of the staircase, glancing inside I took notice that Ruby was sitting cross legged on a black throw rug. Her head in her hands. Totally in her own world.

Clearing my voice I spoke in a monotone way; asking: "What the hell are you doing?"

I was given the response of her looking up at me, smiling wearily. Her own mouth opening to say: "Nothing."

I remember rolling my eyes at this, then moving closer to my sister, entering the dark space. Becoming engulfed by the eerie feeling it always gave me. We continued to talk to each other as though my parents weren't waiting impatiently for us to return to the dinner table. And as I finally decided to sit next to Ruby, crossing my legs like her's were and gripping her hand within my own; Laura appeared in the doorway.

Her first reaction was confusion. I could practically see the emotion plastered on her face. Her second reaction was to yell at me with: "Who the _fuck _are you talking to Craig?"

Becoming confused myself, I cocked my head to the side as I looked up at my Mother. The question was stupid and I couldn't wrap my mind around why she was asking it. She could clearly see I was sitting in my younger sister's room and she could clearly see I was invested in a conversation with said sister.

The rest of what happened is the turning point in where things are blurry and hard to comprehend. Laura continued to yell at me, pointless things that weren't making any sense and I reciprocated with yelling back. Standing on my feet and walking over to where I was inches away from my Mother's face. Thomas, at some point, joins in the altercation and Ruby suddenly disappears.

Not once do I recall Ruby leaving the room. She was never questioned by my parents and her existence was (to them) considered never being there in the first place.

At least not until an hour later, while we were still debating over the whole ordeal, did my sister walk through the front door. And she was most confused of us all.

This… was what was happening right now. The same exact thing. Nothing making any sense and _I'm _the one who is looked upon as being in the wrong. That I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm making everything up.

"Karen." It was the only thing I could force my mouth to speak. And I repeated the name countless times after that. Until, the bland girl herself approached me and she rest her hand on my cheek.

"Ruby told me about times like this. She wanted me to be aware. Be aware of what could happen when you make the stupid choice of not taking your medication."

Kenny got closer to the two of us and I watched as he slapped his sister's hand away from my cheek. "The hell you talking about Karen?"

The reply was simple and I blocked out her response. I didn't want to hear it. Karen didn't know a damned thing she was talking about it. And it pissed me off more than when she did just a few moments ago.

I took a deep breath and then I exploded.


	4. Chapter 4

_I've decided to change the point of view at this time. Not sure how long it may last nor if this will be a continuing recurrence. This chapter has a lot of dialogue. Probably more than I intended, and I apologise. _

* * *

><p><strong>Kenny's POV.<strong>

I began walking closer to Craig and my sister. The behavior coming from both of them slightly scaring me. I know Karen and him have never been what you would call 'close' but I don't think it was on a level quite like this. I think it partially has to do with the fact that they both lost someone who was fairly close to them.

I never really knew Ruby on a personal level. From what I did know, she was a liar. My sister and her beginning at such a young age always stirring trouble. I was always aware of how fond Craig was of his little sister. Within the years I've known Craig, more than half of the time he was speaking of the young redhead. Although, I guess it wasn't always like that. From what Craig has told me. At one point he couldn't stand Ruby. The turning point I was never told. But I'm sure it doesn't really matter.

At this time, I was slapping Karen's hand away from Craig's cheek.

"The hell you talking about Karen?"

"The fact that Craig has a mental illness he isn't aware of." Her reply was simple and I was confused by the statement.

I talked to Laura on multiple occasions. She was my favourite Mom of my friend's I actually like speaking to. She's pretty blunt and doesn't take shit from other people. (Just like her son.) But one thing I have noticed, and I've always found odd, was she was often vague when telling me about Craig and his medication. From prior times, I was only aware of the fact it wasn't wise for him to miss a dosage and it helped him stay collected.

I guess I never pried any further about the business, but I wish I would have. Then I wouldn't have frozen in place like I was right now. Glaring angrily at Karen for a few seconds until I turned my attention to Craig. Who was seconds away from throwing himself onto my younger sister.

Karen was shocked. Christ, you could see it in her small pale face. Kyle, who I actually forgot was even there, acted upon reflex. Grabbing the taller of the two and holding him back. I was still trying to process everything.

Craig didn't seem sick. Not one bit. But then again, the medication was probably the reason behind that. I'm assuming it helps him stay calm in situations. Craig has always been known to stay stoic most of the time. Occasionally, he'll show anger towards whoever has drawn the last straw. (Most of the time, that person being a certain blonde...) But other than that, nothing too out of hand.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, _Karen. _You're fucking insane. A mental illness? Pretty sure if I had one, I'd sure as hell know. What kind of bullshit are you on?"

The restrainment Kyle was holding on Craig was surprisingly strong, but I could tell any second, the noirette would break loose. Getting ahold of Karen. And who knows what would happen next.

Figured now would be a pretty good time to step in.

Pushing past Craig and the redhead, I went straight for my sister. Pushing her back harshly into my room. Slamming the door followed by locking it. Shock was shown in baby blue eyes. A slight shake visible as well.

I watched as she chewed softly at her thumb nail, muttering. "I wish Ruby were here. Bet she would know what to do."

Narrowing my eyes, I asked, "What do you know exactly?"

She shrugged. Her own eyes downward; fixated on my messy floor. "Not much."

"I call bullshit."

"I'm serious!" Her voice rose. Arms falling to her side.

I tried again, "Then what did Ruby tell you?"

I walked over to my bed. Falling onto it and staring upwards at my ceiling. Karen remained standing in the middle of the room. I could tell she felt awkward doing so, but I didn't say a word about it.

Kyle was heard on the other side of my door, trying and possibly failing, to calm Craig down. A loud 'thump' was heard on the wall along with 'Motherfucker!' All of which I'm pretty sure belonged to Craig.

"I know about the last time something like this happened…" Karen's voice was softly than before, just shy of a whisper. I sat up quickly. Staring at my sister.

"Apparently it was only a few months ago. Ruby was over at Mom's with me just before she told me she had to go back home for dinner. You know how the Tucker's are about Sunday dinner."

I nodded. I've experienced a few myself.

"Well, so I guess when Ruby got home, chaos broke out. Craig was arguing with both Laura and Thomas. Yelling all kinds of crazy shit about how Ruby has been at home the whole time and he was up in her room striking up a conversation with her. But it wasn't adding up. Because just a few moments ago, Ruby was with _me_ at _my_ house. Not sitting in her room. So when Ruby walked up the stairs and was bombarded with all these questions regarding which story was the true one, she didn't know how to respond. She explained it as a rush of shock and confusion. Not being able to say a thing. Except that she was at my house and she wanted to go to sleep.

"From what I heard, Craig was pissed for _days. _Refusing to speak to anyone in the house. That's when he started going on medication. Ruby said he never spoke about the incident. Going to the therapist with Laura and whatnot. She remembers it happening though. Remembers being on the drive to the session. And I mean, how else would he get a prescription? I always found it odd how whenever Ruby would bring the subject up and I was around, Craig denied every part of it. Thought it was because I was there. But Ruby said it was _any _time she brought it up. Eventually, Laura told Ruby to give up. But I was still given updates."

It was a lot to process. Everything Karen just told me. She was talking pretty damned fast during the whole ordeal, her cheeks slightly growing pink. Probably due to the embarrassment of telling me all this. The fact that she knew so much that she did.

"Not much huh?" I raised one of my eyebrows, looking at my sister.

Rolling her eyes, she also added a sigh. "Whatever."

I wasn't hearing anything from the other side of the door. So I decided on rising from my bed and walking to unlock the door. Opening it and witnessing the sight of Craig sitting cross-legged in the hallway. Kyle right next to him. Emerald eyes on the noirette as the other male was staring on my door. (Although I guess he'd be staring at me now that I was in the opening.)

His breathing was loud and I could see Craig was doing so through a small gap in his lips.

"Can we talk?" I bluntly asked.

My tactic was simple and it was basically trying to understand through Craig's point of view as to what happened.

All I know is one second everything was peachy keen. Myself moments away from kissing the beautiful mouth of his. When he fucking blew up on Kyle's door. Followed by exploding on my sister.

I had an idea of what his said 'Mental Illness' was, the word just on the tip of my tongue. But I wasn't going to jump to conclusions. If I wanted answers, my best bet would be asking Craig and more than likely Laura.

Craig wasn't looking at me. Thought he was, with his dull grey eyes set my way, but I was soon to realize they were glassed over staring _beyond _my presence. Stepping out of my doorway, I took an estimate of two steps his way and lightly tapped his knee with the tip of my foot.

"Hello?"

Not saying a word, I watched as Craig got out of the position he was in, making his way into my room.

Karen went back to looking shocked and was quick to making her exit. Getting the message that she was unwanted.

As she passed me, she touched my shoulder whispering, "I'm going home."

Home wasn't the place for Karen to stay at. But having just turned eighteen and no longer being in high school. Trying to survive without a job as well, she didn't have any other choice. I try to let her to stay with Kyle and I as much as we can, but that was limited as well. Another body without supporting income wasn't much of a good idea.

Once the front door shut, echoing throughout the apartment, I nodded at Kyle. Then made my way back into my bedroom with Craig.

…

"What did you want to talk about?" His voice was bland as usual. Words going straight to the ceiling, which he was faced towards.

Lying on my side, elbow supporting my weight some, I kept my eyes on Craig. I liked looking at him. He was exotic to me. If you asked anyone else, they'd say Craig was the most boring person in South Park to look at. But I could easily disagree with that… If I could actually explain my reasoning.

I couldn't find the words to describe the way Craig looked.

"I'm just curious as to what your side of the story is."

I heard him sigh, then roll over onto his side so he wasn't facing me. I stared into his back. Watching it as it moved with his breathing.

"It was almost like another incident in which happened a few months ago." He was mumbling so the words weren't very clear. I decided upon scooting closer to Craig. Lightly wrapping my arms around him.

I interrupted, speaking into his back, "I've already been told about that time. I want to know about tonight. I mean, everything was fine Craig. Up until out of nowhere you fucking blew up on Kyle's door followed by starting shit with Karen. I don't remember you never liking her. Something's gotta be up. I understand the death of Ruby is bothering you and all, but I have a feeling it's more than that."

"Can we talk about Ruby instead?"

I found the question immature. Honestly, not wanting to change the subject to one I've spoke about a lot lately. But I figured if I wanted the chance to getting closer to what the hell was going on, I'd agree. And that's exactly what I did.

"Sure. What about?"

His head peaked over his shoulder. Eyes set my way. "Remember what I brought up earlier today?"

"You mean you believing Ruby was murdered instead of committing suicide?" A hum of agreement was sounded. "What about it?"

"I want to talk about the theory some more. Hear what you think about it."

Nuzzling my face closer into his back, kissing it through the fabric of Kyle's hoodie. (Which I wasn't quite sure why he was wearing in the first place. Kyle wasn't one for sharing clothes.) "Go right ahead."

"I've thought about the way she went. Several times. You know I can't get the way the police told us out of my mind? Their words continuously repeating in my mind. I don't understand why she would choose to lynch herself. It's the simplest way to take your life, but it's also the simplest way to make a murder appear to be a suicide.

"One could easily persuade another to go under the rope just by threatening the person. But the murderer could also knock the victim out, through drugs or whatever other method they choose, drag them up to the standing position of being underneath the rope and commit the crime. Of course that would also mean another person was involved… And a lot of fingerprints left behind. So I'd rule that one out. Wouldn't you?"

By the time I was asked the question, I wasn't completely aware of him doing so. So I just mumbled a 'yeah' hoping it'd match whatever was asked and Craig went back to talking.

"You've also got to keep in mind, Ruby wasn't a very sociable person. I've said this I don't know _how _many times. And that plays into not very many people knowing which dorm was my sister's. Ruby lived in a college dorm by herself. She didn't like the idea of sharing with some fucker she didn't know, and she was also looking forward to finally getting away from living with others.

"The college semester had only began a few weeks prior to when she started attending, so the likelihood of someone like Ruby having a ton of friends and inviting them to her dorm, thus them knowing where she was stationed, is slim. And brings me to the theory that whoever did this to her, was someone close to her."

I felt the need to interrupt at this point. "So from the way you're saying this, you think one of Ruby's close friend's forced her into committing suicide. Let's see who that narrows it down to... " I quickly sat up. Peering over the wall that was Craig's body so I could look him right in the dull grey eyes he owned. "Karen. Man, what the hell is your problem with my sister? It's getting a bit ridiculous!"

Craig himself sat up, almost knocking me over as he sat cross-legged to face me better. "The name Karen never came out of my mouth during that whole time. I never said it was a close friend of Ruby's. I said it was someone close to her. That could mean family or a friend she wasn't as close with like Karen. Besides, I definitely don't think she could have been the one to go through with something like that."

"Go on..?"

"First of all, if Karen were to ever commit a crime, especially something as huge as murder, she would feel guilt. And she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself. I'd imagine Karen, as soon as the incident has happened, would follow up with a mental break-down and immediately tell you. Possibly the police, but more than likely you. So assuming you thought I believed Karen to do so is a low blow from you, Ken. I'm a bit smarter than that."

"Well then, you also brought up the fact that it could have been family. That automatically eliminates yourself, right? Because why the hell would Craig Tucker kill his own sister? Unless_, _you _were_ the one to do it, and you're trying to think of someone else to push the blame to. But that then brings up the question of, 'Why would Craig be trying to determine who murdered his only sister when it was already seen as a suicide?' Wouldn't make sense right? So then we think about your parents. The very own birth-givers to Ruby Tucker. Laura and Thomas. Why the fuck would they murder their daughter? First of all, I think Thomas, if one to be the murderer type, would do it in a brutal way, And he wouldn't pass it off as something it isn't. Just seems like the type. Laura, as blunt as she, I don't see being one to commit the crime. She was emotional as hell when the news was brought to her by the police. You even told me yourself about her reaction. I can't imagine her faking emotions just to please others and also herself.

"Eliminating the Tucker family, because you're the only ones that live in South Park of your descent from what I can recall, that then brings us to friends."

I was talking way more than I intended to. Honestly, I have no idea why I was as riled as I was. But I was becoming more and more intrigued in the theory. Although, I found it to be bullshit. I enjoyed playing along with Craig's little game. Lighting the fire, perhaps.

I started up again, "As you said yourself, on countless occasions, Ruby wasn't sociable. Actually, now that I think about it, your whole fucking family isn't. 'Cept maybe Laura. What a drag, man. But anyways…" Pause. "What friends _did _Ruby have? Karen, I know for sure. But you knew her more than I did, help me out here."

"I know she hung out quite a few times with Red. The redhead who was in our grade? I remember some days Red coming over to our house to chill. She's actually pretty cool. Not at all what you'd expect from first glance. Uhm, I think Ruby was also close to that Goth kid that was younger than us... He may have been a year younger than Ruby as well. Not sure about that. But hey, they'd be a pretty likely candidate? Aren't Goths into death and all that shit?"

I couldn't help but laugh. Smiling at Craig. "I guess. Don't go around stereotyping people."

Mirroring my expression, I was gifted with that beautiful open mouth smile Craig owns. The metal on his teeth glistening at me. I've always liked Craig's smile. Even before he received his braces. His teeth fucked-up as ever. (They still weren't the best at this point, ever so slowly straightening.) But the moment I took witness to those metal contraptions, my love grew even larger.

"Is that it?" I asked. "I mean, were either of them aware of Ruby's whereabouts at college? I know it's not located too far from South Park, and the college isn't very big to begin with. Do they still even live in town? I thought Red moved a while back?"

"She moved to Denver a year or two ago. I didn't say my sister saw these people in the last few months. You asked for people she was fairly close to correct? That was all I gave you."

My head nodded slowly.

"Also keep in mind, Ruby came back for weekends. I have no idea who she may have seen during the week at college. I like to think my sister told me everything, but when it came to her social life, I was pretty unaware. I only picked up on the things that's been witnessed throughout the years."

"Yeah, okay." I was beginning to grow bored of the subject at this point. The new 'evidence' Craig gave me slowly ruining it. It just wasn't possible. He would come up with as many theories as he wanted to, but it wouldn't change the fact that Ruby was dead. Nothing would.

If people could be resurrected, it'd take away from the moments we spent grieving over said person. We wouldn't treat death in the same aspect and we sure as hell wouldn't view the life that person lived as something special and remembered. Because they'd continue coming back to life and after a while it would be expected.

Sometimes I question Craig's reaction to Ruby truly being gone. In just the few days that she's left this Earth, I have noticed different sides to the noirette's grief.

There's times he'll do anything to tell a person about how his sister died. The method she took and the damage done to her body. Glee twinkling in his eyes as gruesome words escaped his mouth. Laura getting fed up of hearing the details repeated multiple times. It's almost like Craig is glad his only sister was dead, just because it gives him something exciting to talk about.

Then you have times like these. The questioning. The never-ending sadness that overcomes him and it's like pulling teeth just trying to get him to whisper her name.

Makes me think it has to do with whatever is wrong with him. I don't ever remember Craig being like this. The changing of emotions, the quick and sudden blowing up in one's face, and mostly the unexplainable situations.

But... Then again, I've never noticed any of this before. Probably because I didn't care.

I first got involved with Craig because he was cute. I needed a new person to fuck around with. No emotions required. But now after being exposed to a whole new light, I feel a sudden change. I want to know what the hell is going on, and I want a possibility of helping him. Its scaring me, honestly. I've never wanted emotions to become involved in any 'relationship' I'm in.

With a sudden jolt of spark, I got off my bed. Craig questioning my motives as I did so. Walking around the obstacles that were sprawled across the floor. (I really need to keep a better hold on my cleanliness.) I exited my room for what seemed like the hundredth time today, and went over to Kyle's room across the hall. If I remembered correctly, Craig left my cell phone in the bedroom and there was a ninety percent chance the device was still remaining inside. I had a phone call I needed to make.


End file.
